The kinship relations among the Kazakhs were taken into account mainly up to the seventh generation. This is evidenced by an ancient custom prohibiting marriage between men and women from same clan.
In ancient time it was very seldom that young people choose their partners, mostly their parents did it instead of them. They were looking for a suitable family of good, honorable, respected people.
“Kyz aytyru” was a ceremony when families of little children agreed to become matchmakers in the future. This ceremony was held when parents knew each other very well and have been friends for a long time. Nowadays, such сeremony is not held.
“Kudalyk” is the matchmaking process. The ceremony is complicated and interesting. The arrival of the matchmakers is called "kuda tuser". The matchmakers agree on a specific date, and the guy’s parents go to the girl’s parents’ house. The girls’s family invites all their relatives and friends. After the father gives a blessing, the two sides give presents to each other: kuda attanar, kuda tartu, atalar, kuyryk-bauyr, etc. the most important representative of the matchmakers is called “bass kuda” (bass - the main).
When two sides agreed on the marriage of young people, they discuss the date of the wedding and the amount of kalym. The groom's family gave the family a woman cattle. the amount of which was set depending on the wealth of the matchmakers. Rich families gave 77 horses, a middle-class family - 47, and poor families - 17 horses. If future relatives did not have horses, they were giving other livestock. Nowadays, kalym is usually played with money. This part of the matchmaking is called “bata ayak”, in some places - “syrga tagar” or “battalasu”. If a groom refused to marry, then the bride side didn’t give kalym back, and he still had to pay a fine to the bride's family. If bride refused, the bridegroom returnd kalym and also had to pay a compensation penalty.
Kyz zhasauy (the drowny) is a presents for daughter from her family. Parents of the bride are obliged to collect a worthy dowry for their daughter. The dowry consisted from the necessary equipment for the new family: dishes, bedding, furniture, horses, cattle, etc. Nowadays, families present apartments, furniture, appliances etc.
Kyz Uzaty is a seeing of a bride from her family. About 7 or more people (an odd number) from the groom’s side come for a girl. Among them should be “bass kuda” (the main matchmaker), “kudalar” (relatives of the groom) and a friend of the groom. From the moment they arrive, the celebration begins. They eat traditional food, sing songs, dance and play games. Before leaving, the girl says goodbye (kostasu heat) to her relatives and when she leaves she should go through the white long cloth. In old days, the bride was send with the matchmakers to the house of groom early in the morning, at sunrise. Nowadays, the bride goes with two sisters-in-law or two female relatives and the celebration usually ends before the midnight. When bride arrives to her grooms house she wears white headscarf.
Kelin tysyru is the arrival of the bride to the groom's house. The bride with two women should eneter the house by the right foot. Those who meet them throw all the "shashu" (candies and coins) to them.
Betashar is the celebration of opening the bride’s face. The face of the bride is shown to the groom’s relatives and guests. It necessarily accompanied by a traditional zhir (song). A singer tells the bride to bow to every guest, then they give a “corimdik” (a gift “for looking”). At the end guests tell wishes and advices and the mother-in-law approaches the bride, kisses her daughter-in-law and expresses her best wishes.
Official ceremony of marriage is held at the very end by the family of groom. Kazakhs love magnificent weddings and spend lots of money on them. Usually matchmakers invite 100-200 guests. Sometimes there are toys (celebrations) that have 500 people. It all depends on financial status of groom’s family. Guests presents gifts (usually appliances) to the newlyweds or money. People eat, drink, dance and sings at toys.
After all celebrations, the husband’s relatives and neighbors invites the daughter-in-law to visit her to get to know each other well. That makes so she quickly adapts to the new place. The daughter-in-law comes to their houses with “ilu” (the presents). The mother-in-law should determine the size of the gift in accordance with person’s position. When they meet her, relatives evaluate the manners of the new bride.